Spring Eating: Easter Lamb

Turn away today, vegetarians, because one of the two foods traditionally associated with Spring and its twin celebrations Easter and Passover is lamb. Carnivores, the bad news is lamb is not particularly popular on the American table, so the little you find in a supermarket is not homegrown but mostly flown from New Zealand. The good news is you can often find it at a farmers' market, fresh and clean. And, yes, relatively costly compared to, say, pork or chicken. I always get sticker shock when I buy farm fresh lamb. But it's a once a year tradition to mark Spring with this particular meat, so if you can handle it, here are some traditional lamb recipes from around the world.

Gigot d'agneau
This French roast leg of lamb is the Gallic go-to Easter feed. It's simple, tasty and very friendly to anything else you serve. The French frequently accompany it with white beans stewed in tomatoes, parsley, garlic and rosemary that echo the spicing of the lamb.
serves 6-8

8 lb leg of lamb, trimmed of fat
4-5 garlic cloves minced
1 tbsp dried rosemary
1 tsp ground cumin (this is not traditional but I do love the flavor it gives lamb)
Freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp olive oil
Sea Salt

About 2 hours before you're ready to roast, remove the lamb from the fridge. Wash it and pat it very dry. Let it sit on the counter, warming up.

Preheat oven to 450º. Anyway you can, make a paste of the garlic, rosemary, black pepper, optional cumin and olive oil. Cut a few tiny slits in the lamb. Rub a little extra olive oil all over the lamb, then rub on the spice paste, shoving some down into those slits. Salt the lamb. Roast it at 450º 20 minutes to get a brown crust on the outside. Lower heat to 375º and roast about 2 hours. Turn the meat over after an hour so it browns evenly.  Check after 90 minutes; if it's pink inside and that's the way you like, stop here.
    Remove lamb from pan and wrap it in foil for 10 minutes to rest and stay warm. Remove all the fat from the pan, leaving the scrapings and drippings and burnt bits. Pour in 1/2 c red wine and 1/2 c broth or water. Put the pan on the stove on medium heat and stir to get all those bits into the liquid to make a simple thin gravy.  This should take 2 minutes.
    Serve the lamb sliced with spoonfuls of sauce on top and chopped fresh flat leaf parsley for garnish.

Greek Lamb "Youvetzki": Lamb with Orzo
  serves 6-8
2 lbs boneless cubed lamb
2 tsp dried oregano
1 lb orzo pasta
8 oz tomato sauce or puree (canned or boxed)
6 tbsp butter (unsalted)
½ cup dry white wine
1 lg onion, thinly sliced
salt to your taste plus ¼ tsp fresh black pepper
3 garlic cloves, minced
grated Parmesan or pecorino cheese to garnish
¼ cup freshly chopped flat leaf parsley
 

Preheat oven to 450º. In a large heavy-gauge casserole, over medium heat, melt 2 tbsp butter and add lamb, onion, garlic, oregano, salt and pepper. Brown lamb and onions, stirring frequently. Add wine, cover and put in the oven 20 minutes. Add 1cup water, reduce heat to 350 and bake until meat is tender, about 40 minutes. Remove meat to a plate and to the pot add 3 cups water, tomato sauce, 4 tbsp butter and pinches of salt and pepper. Cover and bake 10-12 minutes.  Meanwhile in a large pot of heavily salted boiling water, cook orzo 5 minutes. Drain and add to the casserole with the lamb. Bake 10 minutes more. Garnish with parsley and serve with grated cheese.

Tibetan Lamb Curry with potatoes
serves 4
1 lb boneless lamb, cubed into bite sized chunks 
1 tsp ginger/garlic paste (for the marinade)
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp chili powder
1 c plain yogurt
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp cooking oil (corn, canola, safflower, mustard)
2 large onions, peeled and coarsely chopped
2 tomatoes
1 tbsp ginger/garlic paste
2 star anise
1 cinnamon stick
6 whole cloves
2 bay leaves
3 medium potatoes, cut into bite size chunks and boiled 5 minutes until almost tender
chopped fresh cilantro leaves for garnish

Combine 1 tsp ginger/garlic paste, ground cumin, chili powder, salt and yogurt and stir to blend. Marinate the lamb in the spiced yogurt overnight or at least 3 hours.

In a heavy medium casserole heat the oil. Add chopped onions and ginger/garlic paste. When the onions are soft and translucent, add the lamb, marinade and all. Cook over medium high heat for a few minutes to brown the onions and lamb. (The lamb may not exactly get brown and crisp due to the yogurt but don’t worry.) Add the star anise, bay leaves, cinnamon stick and cloves and blend. Continue cooking two minutes.
Chop the tomatoes and add them with enough water to cover everything. Add a pinch of salt and cook until liquid boils. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 45 minutes or until the lamb feels tender when you put a fork in it. Check from time to time that there is enough liquid in the pot and add water if necessary.
     To serve: skim the solidified fat off the top. Add the pre-cooked potatoes. Cover the pot and bring to a boil over medium heat. Lower heat and simmer to warm thoroughly.   Remove the star anise, bay leaves and cinnamon stick. (It is imperative to remove the bay leaves as these if eaten can cause severe digestive distress.) Garnish if you’d like with chopped fresh cilantro leaves. Serve with rice or naan—something to mop up that aromatic sauce.


Palestinian Lamb with Chard and Chickpeas

I've posted this before because it's so popular and easy to make.
Serves 6

1½ -3/4 lb boneless lamb stew meat, lean if you can get it

2 tsp ground allspice
1 lg yellow onion, finely chopped
3-4 tbsp olive oil, 1 reserved til the end
1 lg cinnamon stick
4 whole cloves
5 cardamom pods, cracked to release the seeds
½ tsp ground nutmeg
1 lg bay leaf
2 tsp salt, divided (1 tsp of coarse sea salt if you have it)
3½ -4 cup water or vegetable broth or combination of the two
½ cup medium grain or paella rice or Fregola or Farro
1 14-0z can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 bunch chard, thick stems removed, washed, leaves chopped
Freshly ground black pepper to your taste
6 garlic cloves
½ cup lemon juice, freshly squeezed
Lemon wedges for garnish

Coat the lamb with the allspice. Cover the bottom of a heavy gauge lidded pot with 2-3 tbsp of olive oil and warm over medium heat. Add onions and sauté 2 minutes to soften. Add the lamb. Sauté until meat is brown, 5-7 minutes. Add cinnamon, cardamom seeds, cloves, bay leaf, and nutmeg. Stir to blend. Add the water/broth (use 4 cups if you plan to use farro), bring to a boil, cover and lower heat. Simmer 90 minutes or until lamb is tender.
   Stir in 1 tsp salt, black pepper, chickpeas and the rice or fregola or farro. Raise heat to bring to a boil, then immediately lower to simmer and cook until grain is soft. (Rice will take 10-12 minutes, fregola 12-15 and farro 15-20.) If you need more liquid, add water. Remove bay leaf and cinnamon stick. Add chopped chard leaves, stirring them in as you go.
     Mash or mince the garlic cloves with 1 tsp coarse sea salt. Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a small frying pan and brown the salted garlic, 1-2 minutes. Add to the stew and blend. Remove the stew from the heat. When ready to serve, stir in the lemon juice. Taste for seasoning and adjust if necessary. Serve in bowls with lemon wedge and pita.

Swedish Lamb with coffee
serves at least 6

1 leg of lamb, 7 to 8 pounds, boned, rolled and tied
3 tbsp butter mixed with 3 tablespoons chopped parsley
1 carrot, sliced
1 onion, sliced (optional)
1 tsp salt
6 black peppercorns
4 c hot stock (lamb or chicken) or water
1 c hot coffee with sugar and cream

Preheat oven to 450º. Prick the lamb all over with the point of a sharp knife and rub the butter and parsley mixture into the holes. Butter a roasting pan lightly, put in the meat, carrot and onion and brown in the oven 15 to 20 minutes.
    Lower the heat to 350º, sprinkle the meat with the salt and add the peppercorns and 2 cups of stock. Baste every 15 minutes, adding the coffee and the remaining stock gradually. Cook until the roast reaches the internal temperature desired (140 degrees for rare lamb, higher for well-done).
  Remove the roast to a platter and keep it warm. Strain the pan liquid and skim off the fat. To make a roux, combine 1 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp flour for every cup of liquid in a skillet, cook it briefly over medium heat, add the pan liquid, whisk until smooth and boil until it starts to thicken. Simmer 10 minutes. While this is happening, slice the lamb. Pass the sauce with the lamb.

Armenian Lamb Shanks with Chickpeas
serves 4
olive oil to coat your pan
4 lamb shanks, trimmed of fat and gristle
4 lg tomatoes, peeled and chopped
2 medium red onions, chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp paprika
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cayenne or chili pepper
4 c heated vegetable broth, or water
1 20-oz can chickpeas (2 c), rinsed and drained

Preheat oven to 450º. Coat the bottom or a large roasting pan lightly with olive oil. Cover with lamb shanks and roll them to coat in the oil. Roast 30 minutes, turning halfway so they brown evenly. Remove pan from oven and reduce heat to 400º. Cover the lamb with the tomatoes and onions. Add the garlic, herbs, spices plus salt and pepper to your taste. Pour the hot broth or water around the meat. Cover the pan and return to the oven. Roast 1 1/2 hours.
   Uncover, stir and add chickpeas, stirring them into the sauce, and roast another 20-25 minutes. By now the lamb should be close to falling off the shank bone. If not, keep roasting.
Serve garnished with chopped flat leaf parsley and flat bread to mop up the yummy sauce.

Other lamb dishes you might explore are Moroccan tagines, Turkish moussaka, Scotch shepherds pie, and Mogul kebabs.

Delicious Spring cleaning

Not much to say just now except a reminder to recycle your "trash" and save money you don't need to spend. I'm talking about those carrot greens, tops of scallions and leeks, parsley stems, fennel bulb stalks, outer cabbage leaves, kale stems and English/garden pea pods.  Just cut it all to fit a medium or large soup pot, pile it in, more than cover it with water (at least 1" higher), add salt, put a lid on the pot and bring to a boil. Then lower to simmer, walk away and come back in 30 minutes. Turn off the heat and let your new vegetable broth continue cooking on its own steam for another 30 minutes. Put a large strainer over a large container and pour your fabulously nutritious and delicious vegetable broth in.  When it cools, you can freeze it or refrigerate it. Use it for risottos, paellas, vegetable soups, dhals, braising meat, even pasta.

It's almost spring cleaning time so get into your fridge and pull out all those odd scraps of vegetables you've been meaning to use, including those that have gone soft on you.  You can make a luscious vegetable soup to eat immediately or freeze for later. For basics, you just need some good broth like the one in the paragraph above, an onion, a stalk or two of celery, a carrot or two and shards of a green like kale or chard or spinach. Even beet greens. After that, whatever vegetable lurks will enhance the soup. In addition to kale, i just used up the top half of a leek, some green cabbage, a piece of white turnip, and a handful of fresh dill.

What to do? Heat olive oil in a medium soup pot or large saucepan. Dice the onion and toss it in with some dried oregano, rosemary and sage plus a grind or two of black pepper. Dice the celery and carrot and toss them in. Stir to blend and cook 3-5 minutes over medium heat until the veggies start to soften. Chop up the rest of what you have into bite sized pieces and toss in the pot. Add salt to your taste and a shake of crushed red pepper flakes. If you have some smoked Spanish paprika you can add a large pinch. If you have old Parmesan rind of any size, here is where it does magic, so toss it in.  Add enough vegetable broth to cover everything with at least 1/2" over the top. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat to simmer and cook until veggies are all tender. This could be 20 minutes if you're hungry or longer if you're not. If you want a hardier soup, halfway through add a drained can of cannellini/white kidney beans. When everything is soft and hot, toss in a handful of chopped herb: parsley, dill, cilantro. Taste for salt and fix. Enjoy your amazing trash with great bread and cheese. 

Bitter Sweet Secret

More news, "badder" news about honey hit the headlines last week. The vast majority of this natural sweetener being sold in those kid cute plastic bears in your local supermarket is either not really honey at all or is significantly contaminated sludge.  Vast loopholes in our loopy food laws have allowed vast tonnages of toxic "honey" to get imported from India or China without having to reveal that on the labels. In other words, what you don't know could harm you.

Purveyors of honest honey have been hit hard by the price undercutting this permits and are struggling to stay afloat in a tsunami of cheap crap. Lack of honest labeling makes it hard to know what's actually in the jar you're reaching for on that supermarket shelf. You'd be surprised to know some of the biggest, most "trusted" brands on it are the evil ones duping and poisoning you. One of them is the ubiquitous Sue Bee. It's come a long way from Sioux Bees.

If you want real honey from real bees using real hives, if you want uncontaminated and unadulterated honey, if you want honey that honestly comes from bees nearest you, if you want your sweetener sweetly worry free buy it ONLY at a farmers' market or locally run organic grocer who knows exactly where the merchandise came from. It may cost you a few more quarters, but saving money on honey could kill you.

The Februaries

The Februaries used to be an airline marketing phrase for the prevalent malaise at this midwinter moment when it's not quite spring but feels like it ought to be. Time to lift spirits and fly away to a brighter, warmer place.  Well, we can lift sagging spirits through food too. We can bring to the table dishes that radiate the warm sunshine of the cultures that created them, while also being mindful of the moment.

We're at the end of winter storage crops like turnip, cabbage and carrots. Some cold weather crops are starting to show up in more temperate area farmers' markets. French breakfast radishes not overgrown to the size of small torpedoes are back, and American grown peas are starting to pop up. There's really no perfect food for the moment, but here are a few ideas for mental transitioning out of the Februaries.

Joumou, a Haitian beef and pumpkin stew/soup
Actually it's a little late for this traditional Haitian New Year dish but we just had Lunar New Year so why not go for it? It's a tasty last stand for all the winter vegetables we're about to give up: turnip, cabbage, carrots and winter squash. Some versions have noodles too, which you can feel free to add to the mix.

serves 4

2 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch scallions, cleaned
1 tsp dried thyme
1 shallot, diced
1 Scotch Bonnet pepper, seeded
1/4 c chopped flat leaf parsley
1 lime, juice only
1 lb stew beef in 1/2" cubes
2-3 tbsp olive or corn oil
8 cups stock, beef or vegetable
2 lg carrots, peeled and cut into 1" pieces
2-3 celery stalks, cut into 1" lengths
1 sm leek, cleaned, halved and cut into 1" lengths
 3 med. Yukon gold potatoes, cut into bite sized pieces
1 med white turnip, peeled and cut into bite sized pieces
 1/2 small white cabbage, cored and coarsely shredded
1 sm/med Kabocha, red chestnut, red kuri or similar deep orange winter squash, peeled and chopped

Combine everything from garlic to lime juice in a blender/processor with 1/2 c water and puree. Slather this on the beef. Put the beef into a covered bowl and refrigerate at least 4 hrs. to marinate.  Remove from the marinade and rub the meat dry.  Put the oil in a large heavy gauge casserole and heat over medium high. Add the beef and brown it, stirring occasionally.  Pour in the stock and what's left of the marinade, bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and cook until beef is tender--anywhere from 60-90 minutes.

Put the squash in a saucepan with enough water to just cover it and a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil, lower heat, cover and cook until tender, 10-12 minutes.  Remove from liquid and put into a blender/processor and begin puree to a paste, streaming in up to 1/2 c cooking liquid to help.

When the meat is tender, at the rest of the vegetables to the pot--not the squash. Continue cooking until they are tender to a fork, 15-20 minutes. Add salt and freshly ground black pepper to your taste. Stir in the pureed squash and continue cooking until it slightly thickens the liquid in the pot. This could take 10 minutes.

Serve with chopped scallions and a wedge of fresh lime so everyone gets fresh lime juice on their portion.





Turkish Lamb, Carrots and Rice

serves 4
2 tbsp of ghee or 1 tbsp olive oil and 1 tbsp unsalted butter
2 med onions, chopped
4 lg garlic cloves, minced
1 lb lamb stew meat in bite-sized chunks, cooked*
2 medium carrots, peeled and coarsely grated into strips
1 3/4 c long grain (Basmati) rice, rinsed and thoroughly drained
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp ground allspice
4 c stock, beef, chicken or vegetable
salt and freshly ground black pepper to your taste
for Garnish: parsley and Greek yogurt

*To cook the lamb, brown it in olive oil in a heavy gauge casserole with lid. Then cover it with beef or vegetable stock or water. Bring to a boil, cover, lower heat to simmer and cook until lamb is tender. You can remove the fat layer and use the liquid for the rest of the dish as the stock.

Heat the ghee or oil/butter in a heavy casserole over medium heat. Stir in onion and garlic. Cook until they soften and begin to color. Add the cooked lamb, stir to blend and cook 90 seconds. Stir in the carrots. Add the rice, spices, stock, salt and pepper. Stir to blend. Bring to a boil and boil for 90 seconds. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes or until all liquid as been absorbed. Turn off the heat, cover the pan with a clean dish towel and put the casserole lid on top.  Let the dish steam this way for 10-15 minutes.

Transfer to a serving bowl or platter. Garnish with chopped parsley. You can put dollops of yogurt on individual plates or make a well on the main plate and put some in the center. Or you can eliminate it all together.

This would be lovely served with a salad of chopped dates, oranges and arugula with flecks of mint.

Mediterranean style Spinach, Lentil and Rice Cake

serves 6

2 lg bunches (1+ lbs) fresh spinach leaves
1 c Italian short grain risotto rice (such as arborio or carnaroli)

¼ c hulled red lentils or hulled halved mung beans

Salt and black pepper
1 med onion

6 crimini, shiitake or button mushrooms, cleaned and minced

2 tbsp finely chopped dill
2 tbsp butter, plus more for the pan

1 tsp fresh lemon juice
3 lg eggs, beaten
½ c grated parmesan cheese
¼ tsp nutmeg
A handful of fine breadcrumbs

 

Preheat oven to 400º. Heavily butter an 8 or 9” springform cake pan.

Pick over the spinach, discarding discolored leaves and stalks. Wash  several times to be sure all grit is gone. Stuff the still wet spinach into a large pot with no extra water and cook covered on low heat until it withers. Tip it into a colander and drain thoroughly.

Boil the rice and lentils in salted water for 10 minutes, then drain.

Peel and finely dice the onion. In a large frying or sauté pan, melt butter and fry the onion and mushrooms with a small pinch of salt until onion is soft and golden. Drizzle in a tsp of fresh lemon juice. Use scissors to roughly chop the spinach. Add to the frying pan with dill and rice. Stir to blend.

Remove from heat and allow mixture to cool before adding the beaten eggs, parmesan, nutmeg, black pepper and a pinch of salt.

Butter the cake pan and lightly sprinkle the bottom with fine breadcrumbs. Fill it with spinach/rice mix, level, and press flat with the back of a spatula. Sprinkle a few breadcrumbs on top and a pinch of paprika. Bake at 400º 25 minutes-- or until the cake is firm, crisp and golden. Allow to sit for 5 minutes before unmolding. Serve hot or at room temperature.

 **********************

And of course there is never a wrong time to whip out French Breakfast Radishes with soft goat cheese or fabulous cultured butter and Fleur de sel. 

Just clean the radishes and cut the stems leaving a little tip so you can pick them up.  Smash soft goat cheese or butter into a shallow bowl and edge it with the radishes. Put out the salt.

Now it's DIY: pick up a radish, roll it in the cheese or butter and then in the salt. Healthy, colorful and yum!

Commercial Break

My alter ego Nana Chef just launched a 30 day Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for 6-8 videos for a Nana Chef You Tube channel and the www.nana-chef.com website for kids. 

Nana is back in the kitchen teaching kids the magic of cooking and the love it generates all around. Old fashioned Nana doesn't want kids to see kitchen magic as another cutthroat competition or must-do resume builder, but the traditional way all children learn skills, confidence and bonding with others. Nanas cook up sublime memories to nourish a lifetime. So if you can help, please do.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/106062064/nana-chef

Thank you all.

 

Food for Love: Valentine's Day Eating

Valentine's Day is on the way. This year it falls on a Sunday, so no excuse for no time to bring some love to the table. When you do, you'll be part of something huge. People have been feeding each other aphrodisiacs since nobody knows when; it goes back too far. 

When people in love say, “there just was this chemistry”, they mean mysterious emotional attraction to a person, but they could as easily mean the food in their kitchen. In just about every culture, alchemists and chemists have experimented with food to devise seductive potions and hormone formulas that provoke carnal desire, stimulate attraction, promote fertility, and perhaps most importantly cure impotence. Thanks either to those chemical science efforts or poetic association with passion, particular foods are now considered aphrodisiacs. Others got on the list because personal memories of eating that food evoked feelings warm enough to put someone in the mood. 

The most traditional and cross cultural dinner table aphrodisiacs are chocolate, wine, asparagus, artichokes, oysters, the mushroom known as truffle, vanilla and chili pepper.  

Apples are also on that list. Remember what tempted Adam and Eve? Snow White? It turns out apples--although arguably the ancients meant pomegranates (seed sacs like testicles), are historic symbols of temptation. In Greece, they actually were the symbol of love. In a popular myth, the goddess Atalanta, renown for athletic prowess, vowed to marry whoever beat her in a foot race, and when the god Hippomenes beseeched the Goddess of Love for help in winning, sympathetic Aphrodite gave him three golden apples.

She told him to throw them on the track as Atalanta approached. Indeed the sight of these shimmering orbs so distracted Atalanta, she lost the race, meaning love won. In the Mediterranean mind, apples became so tightly associated with love that upon seeing their first tomato (likely yellow heirloom) from the New World, Italians immediately called it, pomodoro, golden apple. 

Some people consider saffron an aphrodisiac because of its red color, rarity and expense, and haunting, seductive flavor. So if you have time to fuss and want something sensational to go with, say, rack of lamb or roast beef, try this:

Red Kuri Squash Stuffed with a Saffron, Apricot and Cherry Pilaf
1 lg (2 1/2 lb) red kuri squash--or sugar pumpkin
1 cup (heaping) long grain Basmati or Jasmine rice (rinsed)
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp unsalted butter
a big pinch of saffron threads
1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
Peel of 1/3 orange (no pith please), sliced into very thin strips
1/4 cup pistachio nutmeats
1/4 cup roasted pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
1/4 cup dried cherries soaked in boiling water 5 minutes and drained
8-10 dried apricots, chopped into bite-size pieces
1 tsp rosewater
1/2 tsp salt
Freshly ground pepper to your taste
1 bunch flat leaf parsley, coarsely chopped
1 bunch mint coarsely chopped or 1/2 cup dried mint leaves
1 bunch dill, coarsely chopped
1 lemon cut in wedges for garnish
1 cup thick fresh yogurt for serving
Preheat over to 400º. Soak the saffron threads in 1 tsp hot water.

Wash the squash and microwave it just long enough to soften it so you can put a knife in.
Cut off the stalk end to use as a lid. Scoop out all seeds and strings. Put the lid back on the squash, put the squash on a baking sheet and put it in the oven for 1 hour.
     Now, put the rice in a pot with just enough water to cover it. Add a pinch of salt and bring to a boil. Lower heat to simmer, partially cover the pot and cook 10-12 minutes until all the water is absorbed. (The rice will not be totally cooked, no worries.)
     Meanwhile in a wide lidded skillet or casserole, heat oil and butter until butter melts. Stir in coriander, orange peel, pistachios, pumpkin seeds, drained cherries and apricots. Sauté one minute. Add the rice, saffron (with water) and rose water. Season with salt and pepper.
    Turn off the heat. Cover the pot with a clean, dry dish towel and press the pan lid down over it to a tight fit. Let the pilaf steam for 10 minutes. Toss in the parsley, dill and mint.
     When squash is ready, lift off the lid and fill it with the pilaf, gently stuffing it in. Put the lid back on and put the stuffed squash back in the oven for 20 minutes.
     Remove the lid to serve. Slice the lemon into wedges. There are two ways to present this: one is to simply put the wedges all around the squash on a serving plate, put 1/4 of the yogurt on top of the pilaf and pass the rest in a separate bowl, and let everybody dig in. Or you can slice a 1/2" thick round off the top of the squash, lay this ring on a plate, fill it with the pilaf, top this with yogurt and place a lemon wedge to one side.

 

Why is asparagus on that list? According to the wildly popular lookalike theory of earlier times, the asparagus spear that triumphantly shoves its way up through thawing Earth should be a boost for the male libido. Bridegrooms in 19^th C France were served a pile of spears on their wedding night. But it turns out there’s more to asparagus than its suggestive phallic shape. Dense with potassium, folic acid and vitamin B6 among other critical nutrients and fiber, asparagus increases production of histamine, a chemical that causes capillary dilation and muscle contraction. The human body requires both of these to happen so it can achieve orgasm.

Here's a Spanish treat for a lazy Sunday brunch or breakfast:

Asparagus Revuelto (not quite an omelet)

3 tbsp olive oil

2 peeled garlic cloves, plus 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

2 cups bread cubes, made with day-old bread, cut in 1/2-inch cubes

Salt and pepper
2 ounces Spanish chorizo, diced (use pepperoni if you can't find it)
1 bunch thin asparagus, about 1 1/2 pounds, cut in 1- 2" lengths
1 bunch scallions, chopped
8 large eggs, beaten
1/2 tsp pimentón
2 tbsp chopped flat leaf parsley

Put 3 tbsp olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Add peeled garlic cloves and let them sizzle until lightly browned, then remove. Add bread cubes, season with salt and pepper, lower heat to medium and gently fry until lightly browned and crisp, about 2 minutes. Remove bread and set aside to cool.
     Add chorizo and fry lightly. Add asparagus, season with salt and pepper, and stir-fry until cooked through but firm, 3 to 4 minutes. Add green onions and minced garlic and cook 1 minute more. Season eggs with salt, pepper and pimentón. Pour into pan and cook, stirring with a wooden spoon until soft and creamy, 2-3 minutes. Add parsley, top with fried bread cubes and serve immediately.

You can serve that with heart shaped scones bearing red flecks of dried cherries:

Scones with dried cherriesfor best effect, you need a heart shaped cookie cutter
makes about 14
1/2 cup ( 4 oz) dried cherries, chopped or at least halved
4 oz (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 6-8 pieces
2 1/2 cups all purpose unbleached flour
2 tsp granulated sugar
1 tsp (heaping) baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 c + 1 tbsp heavy or whipping cream

Marinate the cherries in 1/4 cup of either rosewater, cherry brandy or plain water. Preheat oven to 375º. Butter a cookie sheet or line it either with silicone liner or parchment paper.
   In a food processor or mixer bowl, combine the butter, flour, sugar, baking powder and baking soda. Process quickly, just until mixture looks like coarse meal. With the motor running, pour in the cream and process only until dough starts to form.  Drain the cherries and stir in. 
   Line your counter with wax paper. Form the dough into a ball and roll it out 1/2" thick. Cut 2-2 1/2" scones. Place on the cookie sheet. You don't have to leave too much room between them. Brush the tops with that 1 tbsp cream. 
  Bake 12 minutes until solid to the touch. Do not brown. Serve warm.   
 

You can offer whole apples with cheeses and nuts. You can serve an apple tart. Or you can add to your brunch or afternoon a beloved almost forgotten classic: (Alert: this requires deep fry.)

Apple Fritters

2 cups all-purpose flour 

1/4 cup white sugar 

1 tbsp baking powder 

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg 

1 tsp salt 

2 eggs 

1 cup milk 

2 quarts peanut oil for deep frying (it has the highest smoke point)

4 large apples, peeled and cored 

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar for dusting

In a medium bowl, mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, nutmeg and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together eggs and milk. Stir milk mixture into flour mixture until smooth.In a deep fryer or heavy bottomed deep pot or skillet, heat oil to 375º.

Slice apples into ½” rings. Dip apple slices in batter and fry, a few at a time, turning once, until golden. Drain on paper towels and dust with confectioners' sugar.

To serve wine not in a goblet but paired with vanilla for two in one, make this dessert:

Red Wine Poached Pearsfor 6 but you can half it 

3 c water
1 lg lemon, juice only
6 lg pears, still firm but ripe (Bosc does not work well here)
2 c dry red wine
1 c sugar
1 vanilla bean or 2 tsp vanilla extract
pinch of ground cloves
   Combine the water and half the lemon juice in a large bowl. Peel the pears but leave stems on. If they can't stand up, slice a little off the bottom until they do. Put them in the lemon water so they don't brown.
    In a large wide saucepan, mix wine, sugar and remaining lemon juice. Slit the vanilla bean, scrape its seeds into the wine, then toss in the pod too. Or add the vanilla extract. Bring to a boil and boil over medium heat about 5-7 minutes until you have syrup. Drain the pears and put them in the syrup, standing in a single layer, bottom down. Adjust heat to simmer, cover the pot and cook until pears are tender to the core. Baste from time to time. 
    When pears are tender, place them upright in a large serving bowl. Raise the heat under the wine syrup and boil for 3 minutes to reduce and thicken slightly. Pour it over the pears, vanilla bean and all. Set aside to cool but baste every so often. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate to serve chilled.
     

And give the day's grand finale all the chocolate you've got. Here are two exquisite recipes: one for a shiny heart and one that's gluten free for food fetishists.
Chocolate Heart (from Flo Braker)
(Alert: you need a heart shaped cake pan for this)

 3/4 cup (2 ounces) ground pecans
1/3 cup unsifted all-purpose flour
6 tbsp unsalted butter
6 ounces semisweet chocolate
2 tbsp water
1/3 cup each granulated and light brown sugar
3 large eggs, separated
1 tbsp rum, optional
1 tsp granulated sugar
Optional: 1 pint fresh raspberries, cinnamon hearts, nasturtium leaves

Adjust rack in lower third of oven and preheat to 350º. Grease and flour an 8-inch heart-shaped pan and line with waxed paper or parchment.
In a small bowl, mix nuts and flour. Melt butter and chocolate in small saucepan over low heat. Blend in water until smooth. Transfer warm chocolate mixture to a large bowl, stir in the sugars. Cool five minutes, blend in yolks, then rum, then stir in nut-flour mixture. Whip whites with one teaspoon sugar to soft, white peaks; stir-fold into chocolate mixture. Spoon batter into pan and smooth evenly. Bake 25 minutes, or until soft but not liquid in center. (Chocolate firms as it cools.) Remove from oven, cool 15 minutes, invert on rack. Peel off paper.

For the Glaze 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 ounces semisweet chocolate
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped

Place everything in a bowl that fits snugly over saucepan. Fill pan half full with 130º water, set bowl on top. Stir occasionally until mixture is smooth, shiny and liquid. Place cool cake on a piece of cardboard that is on a rack placed over jellyroll pan to catch spills. Pour the glaze over the cake and spread evenly with a long metal spatula.
You can go for Baroque and decorate with fresh raspberries or cinnamon hearts or edible red nasturtium leaves.

  Mocha Fudge Cake (flour free)

serves 14 but you have to make it a day ahead

1 c strong coffee (you can use instant)
1 lb semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 c sugar
2 c unsalted butter
8 eggs, lightly beaten
      Preheat oven to 250º. Butter a round 9x3" removable bottom cake pan. Line with a single piece of foil, pushing the foil to the bottom, then up the sides and over the top without tearing (no leaks wanted). If your foil is too narrow, greatly overlap two pieces. Butter the foil so nothing sticks to it.
    In a large saucepan, combine the coffee, chocolate, sugar and butter. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until it feels like hot bath water. Remove from heat and whisk in the eggs, gradually. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake 1 1/2 hours. (If the center seems loose, don't worry, it will keep firming up as it cools.) Cool completely, cover and chill overnight.
    Before serving, try to level the top of the cake, then invert it onto a serving platter and remove all foil.

Make frosting
1 1/2 c heavy cream
1/4 c powdered sugar (confectioner's sugar)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Whip all ingredients together in a large bowl until very stiff. Frost the top and sides of the cake with this mixture. You can decorate the top with shaved chocolate, fresh raspberries, a pinch of nutmeg or just leave it alone. This is divinely rich.